Kids! Do I want one of my own?

Ever heard the song “Kids” in Bye Bye Birdie? Hopefully in fifteen years, I won’t be singing to that tune but Bye Bye Birdie is still one of my all-time favorite movies and I can pretty much sing all the songs by heart.

The real reason I went hunting for the song was because kids have been on my mind a lot lately. My own kid…You know, one of those snot-producing, scream at the top of their lungs, needs diapers changed kind-of kid. (Hey, even adults do the first two!) You see, when I got married a little over two and a half years ago, I inherited three beautiful stepchildren that I LOVE with all my heart. They are great kids and I definitely have never been considered the evil stepmother but since it’s a part-time gig, it’s just a totally different dynamic.

I just want a child of my own!

Unfortunately, it’s not that easy. It may be partly selfish. I want there to be a little one to call me mother, mom, mommy, mama, or ma. (Any of those would do, really.) I want to be able to make the decisions about child rearing that actually stick. I want to be responsible for this young life, teach it new things and just watch the wonder of it all. I want to be able to have conversations with my child whenever I want and not worry that this other mother will come in and say the exact opposite of what I’m saying. I want to be able to create boundaries, teach manners, and explain the workings of the world.

Some of these aren’t accomplished by being a step-mother. Many of them are…but there are some crucial ones that aren’t, like calling me Mom. I would never ask my stepkids to call me anything they didn’t want to call me…and this is one of those. They just call me Sarah – simple as that – but it’s not Mom.

I’m struggling with this whole “having a kid” concept. I love the idea…but practically speaking, it’s going to be VERY difficult to financially sustain it all. I know people always say “it’s never the right time” and “you can never budget for kids”. It just happens and priorities get rearranged. Right now, it’s looking more and more dreary of a subject. If you have kids, how have you made it work?


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