Being a stepmom.

I caught this blog post from Jessica New Fuselier and I could completely identify with it. I won’t lie…it’s difficult being a stepmom.

When I started out just dating my now-husband, he was raising his three kids full time. It was a heavy task walking onto that scene while just just being a girlfriend. I remember initially not knowing how to act but I felt comfortable taking over some of the parenting roles — helping with homework and making dinner for the family. That type of parenting stuff just came naturally to me. It was easy and supportive, just what children crave.

There were days when I was so exhausted from the full day of work but I sat at the table helping my eldest stepdaughter with her math homework for three hours! It was insane but also extremely rewarding. I knew that in this simple act, I was a parent, no matter what the official label.

About three years ago, my husband and I moved out to California leaving the kids in New York City with their mother. The distance between CA and New York City is difficult. We aim to get as much face time with them as possible…Online chatting, cell phones, and email have worked wonders and even booking cheap flights for my husband to fly back for a few days and visit them. I always try to send the occasional care package with some goodies that remind them of their time with us.

Yesterday, I was wished “Happy Mother’s Day” many times by my family and friends and my youngest stepchild was chatting with me about random things and then out of the blue said, “Happy Mother’s Day!” It made my heart swell. In his ten years (and eight knowing me), he actually remembered or identified that I was instrumental in his life too.

I don’t ever want to replace their mother. EVER. But it’s nice to know that I can still be recognized for my efforts even if I don’t have the official “I have born you Mother” title.

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